shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
