He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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