So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
