we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
