I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
