the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
