You really coming over, don't trick.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
