are you so shy because you have an std?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
