Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
