my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
