Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
