would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
