This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
