Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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