Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
they're like a gay fantastic four
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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