I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
