i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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