you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
