I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
