i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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