you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
