would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
