i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
