filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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