do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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