awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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