I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
All I want is dick and wine.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize