No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
