even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
