Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
