u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
it's like heaven, but drunker
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
