Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
