Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
