idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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