Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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