apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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