sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize