oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize