Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize