can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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