My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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