Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
