I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
