I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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