we have pet lesbian snakes
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Small penises have feelings too.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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