we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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