Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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