when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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