Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize