Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
