I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
