She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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