Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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