You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
