it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
