hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
